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[tolaywaste]

infirmary } wednesday night-thursday morning

[He wakes up quickly but smoothly. This time, he doesn't scream. He knows where he is, he knows more or less what's happened, he knows he died, beyond just the fact that he can feel it in his bones. Royce's face is clear in his mind, although he still doesn't know the man's name. He will, soon enough.]

[Even though he doesn't want to stay in the infirmary, he will, less for his own sake than for the sake of the people who are worried about him. He'll rest, until he can't take being there anymore.]

cabin 6-02 } thursday-saturday

[And then he flees, back to his room, which is more private, more comfortable, less of a hospital. He stays there, wracked with pain but grudgingly allowing visitors. He can be found on the way to and from Zero on Friday, when he goes to visit Royce. Other than that, he sleeps, or tries to figure out why what happened did.]

out & about } sunday

[He should probably still be in bed on Sunday, but he can't take the confined space of his room anymore. Instead of his usual run in the CES, he takes an early-morning walk, slow and a little pained, but mostly steady. He visits the kitchens and takes a slow lunch, his shoulders hunched against an uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability. Other than that, he spends some time on the deck, trying to work off his excess nervous energy.]

Comments

wednesday night spam

[wedonot]

[This time, Charles is there when he wakes up, and it doesn't exactly make it easier to be on the other side of the hospital bed. Memories of being stuck in the the hospital in Florida after what happened in Cuba have already been more on his mind than he'd like, and this... just really doesn't help.

But it's not like he wants to be anywhere else right now, so when he stirs and starts showing mental signs of consciousness, Charles squeezes his hand gently, trying to let him know that he's there, he's not alone.]

[tolaywaste]

[He's not alone. That's part of what makes the difference. He can feel the touch of Charles at the edges of his consciousness, and so he swims to the surface with relative ease; there's something to guide him.]

[When he opens his eyes, wincing, he's all confused. It's a struggle to focus, but once he manages it, his hand flies to his throat in alarm.]

[Not bleeding. He's not dead anymore.]

Charles?

[wedonot]

[There's no particular use in trying to hide the relief he feels, and there's a warm sort of burst of emotion that turns soothing when Alex starts to panic.

He tries to tell him he's alright, that he's safe, and squeezes his other hand reassuringly.]

Welcome back. How are you feeling?

[tolaywaste]

[The gentle touch of Charles's mind makes Alex feel safe enough to close his eyes, just for a second, until he gets his bearings. Everything hurts, especially his neck, and it's a little hard to breathe, but he's pretty sure that's mostly panic. Mostly.]

[He doesn't open his eyes or speak until he knows he can form a sentence, until he's not terrified anymore. Then he smiles wanly at Charles.]

I'm fine.

[That's a joke. NO REALLY. He clears his throat.]

I feel awful. What happened? I mean - who happened, is what I mean, I think.

Thursday Morning

[fireincarnate]

[She could have stayed in the infirmary indefinitely, just waiting, but it wasn't long until it became unbearable. Instead, she went back and cleaned up her room. She tried to meditate, but it didn't work very well; Alex's body kept flashing before her eyes.

Still, she managed to distract herself until the next morning. Her steps are slow and heavy as they carry her to the second level; it's irrational, to be scared of him never appearing, never waking up, but she can't help it.

Her heart soars when she sees him in bed, even as tears prickle her eyes. She takes a deep breath before striding to his side.]

Hey. [Her voice is soft and strained, and so is her smile.]

[tolaywaste]

[He didn't disappear. He's here. He's awake - itching to get out of bed, by the looks of it, his legs swung over the edge and giving a careful look to the back of whoever is working right now. When he sees Jean, he brightens slightly, although he's still pallid.]

Hey.

[He pats the bed, a little awkwardly.]

[fireincarnate]

[Jean perches on the bed beside him, and she can't help but stare. She knows how death works on the Barge, but it's still - it's hard to reconcile the Alex laying there with hollow eyes, and the Alex sitting here with frustrated energy.

It's only a moment, really, before she pulls him into a slow, gentle embrace.]

[tolaywaste]

[The hug, for once, doesn't surprise him or take him off guard. He hugs her back, tightly and fiercely, trying to convince her with the strength of his arms that he's alive, that he's not going anywhere.]

Hey, [he says again, quietly into her ear, and that's all. He's here. He's alive. It's going to be okay.]

[ Spam ] Thursday

[warisart]

[Ben is there when Alex wakes up; he doesn't need to sleep, doesn't want to sleep, and has no duties to distract him. He goes directly from Zero, where he deposited Royce, to the Infirmary, where Charles deposited Alex, and he stays there. The X5 doesn't care if it's rude that he ignores any questions directed at him. He does it anyway, intent for several long moments on Alex - enough to be sure that the wound has healed, that he'll come back alright - and then on finding a place to wait.

And he does wait. He doesn't press in close, doesn't jockey for position with anyone, barely even moves once he settles. But he's there. And once Alex is awake, once their eyes have met and they both know, Ben steals away silently. He still doesn't really want to talk, and he highly doubts Alex does either, and he has obligations. That is the answer he will give to anyone who asks, even though those obligations matter not at all to him in comparison to his friend's wellbeing.

It's still after lunch the following day before the transgenic tries again. He turns up at Alex's door, still quieter and more feral, more sharp, than he has been in the past couple weeks. He has a notebook in one hand, a pen shoved into the spiral spine of it, and he knocks with the other.]

It's Ben. [A moment later he's trying the handle; one way or another, knowing Alex's bed in the infirmary is empty, he's going through the door.]

[tolaywaste]

[Maybe a part of him realizes that Ben is there before he even wakes up; maybe that's part of why, when he does wake, he's more secure, calmer, less frantic than before. Their eyes meet, and he nods slightly, and Ben goes - and that's fine. They'll talk later, when things have calmed down.]

[When he hears Ben, he calls out immediately,] It's open, [even though his friend is starting to open the door before he's finished speaking. The look he gives is more concerned than anything, maybe a little guilty. It's weird, but he thinks he should've - known, somehow. Shouldn't he?]

[warisart]

[Ben slips inside the door, and closes it nearly silently behind him.

It's easy for newcomers to look at Ben and identify him as what he is, still: a soldier among civilians, a strange, alien creature amongst the comparatively familiar. He's changed enough that those that know him are capable some days of more or less forgetting he was ever anything but Ben, just Ben, a little awkward and a little ignorant but intelligent, thoughtful, kind. Imaginative and logical.

The way he's holding himself now is a silent reminder that once, he was anything but. Not in a dangerous way, necessarily, there's no hollow behind his eyes or anything like aimlessness to his actions, but this is what has been stamped into his bones. This is how he makes himself safe, and those he cares about safe.

He crosses the room in swift silence before anything in him can recognize the misplaced guilt Alex is flashing across the distance to him; he doesn't need to be closer to scan his friend over for any lingering damage, to reassure himself that he's whole. He does need to be closer, period, though.]

I apologize for not coming sooner. [He holds out the notebook instead of reaching out himself; it's broken into three separate sections, a basic college notebook, but the first section is entirely blank.

If Alex tries to speak, the X5 will shake his head, and indicate the notebook and pen instead.]

[tolaywaste]

It's okay, [Alex says, but then Ben's handing him the notebook and indicating that he shouldn't speak anymore. He looks up at him, brow creased in puzzlement, but takes the notebook and the pen. He's supposed to write? Why?]

[Instead of doing that, he watches Ben, his scrutiny gentle but firm. His friend is upset. He can see that, even though if asked how he knows, he wouldn't be able to say, exactly.]

[After a moment, he picks up the pen and writes in big, messy, letters:]

Do you want to sit?

Friday ➥ spam;

[soliterraneous]

[ Aeryn is aware of Alex going to Zero; she saw him and decided to follow, keeping a distance and keeping quiet until she saw where he was going. At that point she broke off of her impromptu shadowing, swinging by the gym before returning to the hall outside of Alex's room, where she waits for him.

She won't judge him for going to talk to Royce. She did exactly the same thing. ]

[tolaywaste]

[When he sees her outside his room, he startles at first. His reflexes, such as they are, still aren't up to standard strength completely, and he doesn't notice her as quickly as he should. It doesn't scare him as much as it should, either. But then, he trusts her.]

[Once he realizes who it is, he gives her a sheepish kind of look. It was stupid to go down there, he knows, especially since just walking there left him way more exerted than he should have been.]

Hey.

[soliterraneous]

[ Aeryn gives a bit of a smile; sometimes she feels more responsible for Alex than others, and this is one of the former moments. ]

Did he actually say anything useful to your or is he still being a child?

[ More anger than she realized affects her voice, making her words sharp and clipped. ]

[tolaywaste]

I think he said more than he meant to say even when he wasn't talking.

[He gives her a small smile and opens the door to let them both in.]

I'm not gonna tell you it's all right, because it's not. But thank you for not going after him.

[Spam] Wednesday

[neverfeltbetter]

[Crichton shows up in the infirmary in the early evening. He's come looking for Alex, not really knowing what to say, but sure he has to give the man a visit. Isn't that the least he can do?

This entire situation of impermanent death, he'd been told about it. But seeing it in action like this, so soon, and on someone he knows, if only a little...it's weird. He's still trying to grasp it all.

Maybe he's here just as much for himself as for Alex.]

I'd have brought you flowers but, I didn't think pulling them up out of that garden was the best idea.

[He clears his throat nervously.]

So uh...how're you doing?

[tolaywaste]

[Alex isn't surprised to see Crichton here. He's not sure why. It's not like they know each other that well, but Aeryn said there were similarities between them, and it's what he would do. Maybe that's why.]

[Either way, he grins a little self-effacingly at the other man and shrugs a little. He looks like shit and he knows it.]

Thought that counts.

I'm fine. [Patented Alex response.] Sore, but, you know. It could have been worse. [Like last time he was beheaded, which. Sucked a lot, pretty much. This also sucks, though.]

Sorry, I'd like to say the Barge doesn't usually get intense this quickly, but that'd be a lie.

[neverfeltbetter]

Worse? You died.

[He shouldn't really be surprised. Chaos has always been quick to follow wherever he goes. Why would he expect his introduction to this place to be any less eventful?]

I know you're alive now, but you still look like shit.

[Because yes, he does like to state the obvious.]

And I mean that in the nicest way.

thursday morning

[breathoflight]

[Snow is there very early the next morning. She did not manage to get much sleep after what happened to Alex. It wasn't quite the same thing as his death on the other Barge and she didn't witness the immediate aftermath either. She spent much of Wednesday night and the early hours of Thursday morning tossing and turning. Although she knew full well he would awaken and that he would be alright, it did nothing to remove the itchy feeling under her skin that kept her fidgeting endlessly or the wetness she has to continuously brush away from her eyes over and over again. She finally gives up on sleep and goes to the chapel in an attempt to clear her mind though she only has mixed success.]

[Propriety goes straight out the window once Snow steps into the infirmary and sees Alex is awake and doing as well as can be expected. She rushes forward and kisses him hard. She holds onto him tight, trying to let go of all the tension she carried overnight. Much of it does, leaving her shaky and incredibly exhausted. But most of all, she is just relieved to see him as he is now. Not as she saw him on the communicator.]

[tolaywaste]

[He only gets a chance to look at her briefly before she's in his arms, and honestly he's - really okay with that. He kisses her back and runs his fingers through her hair, trying to reassure her that he's there. That there's no need for urgency. He's not going anywhere. Not for good.]

[This is the worst part of dying, he thinks. Not his pain. He can get over that. But everyone else looks so broken, so sad. He almost wishes he could make it go away, but it's not that easy, never was, never will be.]

[So he just pulls her close and tries to get her to settle on the edge of the bed next to him, to give her a chance to breathe.]

[breathoflight]

[Snow is grateful for the bed and sits beside Alex. It removes the difficulty of standing and allows her to focus on far more important things. Though just barely, she is able to smile.]

I was so worried. Do you... Do you know the man who did this to you?

thursday night spam

[fridgetothefire]

[She's not incensed - she isn't quite hypocritical enough for that, to say his impermanent death is so much more significant than hers. But she's still mad, because she knows he didn't choose this, that he didn't agree to be hurt.

She pours her frustrations into cooking, as usual. Big batches of hearty, easy-to-heat things, sustenance he won't have to shamble through the halls for. There's classic chicken soup with carrots and turnips and potatoes, a shepherd's pie with hamburger meat, fresh bread for dipping and a little pate that's mostly just their private joke. She kicks the wood instead of knocking.]

Hey, Alex. If you're awake, can you get the door? My hands are kind of full.

[tolaywaste]

[He starts when he hears her voice, then regrets it, some pain he can't identify pulling at the tendons in his shoulders. Still, he's mostly sitting up already, so he gets up and pulls to door open, hiding his wince behind an awkward smile.]

Hey.

[A moment's pause. Wow.]

Something smells awesome.

[fridgetothefire]

You'll be well-stocked for the foreseeable future, at least.

[But she smiles at the compliment and bustles in, storing some things and finding a fork to serve two plates of warm shepherd's pie with.]