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[tolaywaste]

infirmary } wednesday night-thursday morning

[He wakes up quickly but smoothly. This time, he doesn't scream. He knows where he is, he knows more or less what's happened, he knows he died, beyond just the fact that he can feel it in his bones. Royce's face is clear in his mind, although he still doesn't know the man's name. He will, soon enough.]

[Even though he doesn't want to stay in the infirmary, he will, less for his own sake than for the sake of the people who are worried about him. He'll rest, until he can't take being there anymore.]

cabin 6-02 } thursday-saturday

[And then he flees, back to his room, which is more private, more comfortable, less of a hospital. He stays there, wracked with pain but grudgingly allowing visitors. He can be found on the way to and from Zero on Friday, when he goes to visit Royce. Other than that, he sleeps, or tries to figure out why what happened did.]

out & about } sunday

[He should probably still be in bed on Sunday, but he can't take the confined space of his room anymore. Instead of his usual run in the CES, he takes an early-morning walk, slow and a little pained, but mostly steady. He visits the kitchens and takes a slow lunch, his shoulders hunched against an uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability. Other than that, he spends some time on the deck, trying to work off his excess nervous energy.]

Comments

[tolaywaste]

Or make them more upset or depressed or whatever. It just makes whatever was bad more. Solitary's no good.

[neverfeltbetter]

So that's where wardens come in. But how are we supposed to know what to do?

[A little bit of his own anxiety over this new responsibility is showing through.]

[tolaywaste]

You can't just know. Every situation's different. Sometime's Zero's the only thing you can do, but I think it should be used more to protect other people if your inmate's dangerous, and then only really, really temporarily.

[He catches up with himself, realizing he's acting like he knows better than someone older than him with more experience under his belt, and shrugs self-consciously.]

[neverfeltbetter]

[Fortunately Crichton isn't really offended by the advice coming from a younger man. This is Aeryn's warden he's talking to. He's already impressed that Alex is taking the whole death a revival thing in stride, and perhaps more maturely than he might have.]

[And besides, he did ask. Alex has been here longer, so Crichton naturally figures Alex should know better.]

I see what you mean, but...hell, that leaves an awful lot of room for things to go wrong doesn't it? Wardening by trial and error?

[He does not want someone getting hurt by an inmate who's supposed to be under his charge.]

[tolaywaste]

[He nods, a little rueful.]

They're people. People are trial and error, you know? And none of us really know anything about each other, coming from different places like we do. So that's . . . kind of the best I've figured out to do. Pay attention and be there and try to respond quickly.

[neverfeltbetter]

Yeah, guess you're right.

[He laughs, like he's just thought of a private joke.]

I can't tell you home many times I got punched in the face by Aeryn our first year together. But, she came around eventually. And I got better at ducking.

[That smile turns a little sad now. Aeryn here doesn't know how far she's already come back home. If only he had some way to show her.]

[tolaywaste]

[He grins.]

Doesn't surprise me. She seems like a punch-in-the-face kind of lady, from everything I've ever learned about her.

[He tilts his head.] You okay, man?

[neverfeltbetter]

Guy in the hospital is asking me if I'm okay?

[It's a poorly executed deflection.]

[tolaywaste]

[Pffft.] Nice try, man. Seriously.

[neverfeltbetter]

[The fake smile he tried falls again.]

We've gone through a lot, me an' Aeryn. Only, she doesn't remember it. She's grown so much at home, and I know that she will here too. I know she will...

I just don't know who she'll grow with.

[She might just grow out of him, and find something better.]

[tolaywaste]

[Alex goes very quiet and still. He understands the fear - knows it's legitimate, because Aeryn is nothing if not unpredictable - but there aren't any words to make it better.]

I think . . . she's growing with you no matter what. You're the first person from home she told me about. It might not be exactly the same here, but she didn't know what a friend was before you, man, that doesn't just go away.

[neverfeltbetter]

I know.

[This time when he smiles it's softer, but genuine.]

As much as I supported her, I think she supported me even more. I couldn't have asked for better, even considering all the punches.

[He laughs.]

It's so good to see her coming into her own, and, I have to thank you for being partially responsible for that.

[tolaywaste]

[He shakes his head.]

That's what people said when Bruce graduated. I get it, but I mean . . . it's all her. She's doing the work. I'm a safety net.

She's so much more sure of herself than he was, is the funny thing. Even when she's weak, she's strong.

[neverfeltbetter]

I said partially.

She's strong, and confident in the things she knows. And she knows a lot. But every now and then she needs someone to push her out into the channel. To show her she can make it in even deeper waters. Once in, she can take it from there, and sooner or later she realizes she had it in her all along.

It's more than a safety net, she needs someone to believe in her. To show her she's more than just her training and her breading. I can already tell, she's more than that here. So much more.