Alex «Havok» Summers (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tolaywaste) wrote2014-06-21 06:43 pm
tolaywaste) wrote2014-06-21 06:43 pm
32. » spam & voice, backdated to yesterday
[. . . before the ominous Admiral message.]
So I'm leaving.
[He's leaving for good, and this is voice, not video, for a reason. It's not that he doesn't want to look people in the eye, it's just that he doesn't want them to see how guilty he feels, even now, to be leaving this place behind.]
[Not as bad as he expected, though. Not as bad as it would have been a few months ago. Charles was right: there is a time and a place to take your life back for your own.]
I don't really have anything much to say besides - goodbye, and thanks. To everyone, even the people I never really knew, for making this place livable. Making it home for a while. It'd be hell here without you.
Don't screw each other up too bad.
spam } ben
[But before any of that, he goes to see Ben.]
[This will be the worst of it. This will be the hardest. This is the one he has no choice but to do in person, because if he's going to turn back, this is where he's going to do it.]
[He knocks on Ben's door with his heart in his throat, beating like a jackhammer, and wonders if Ben can hear it. If he'll be concerned before Alex says what he has to say - if he'll think there's something wrong.]
[Alex can't control that one way or another. He can't make this nice. He can pretty much just be honest.]
( ooc; if anyone would like to spam off this post, alex will be in his cabin [6-02] and/or pretty much wherever you want for goodbyes ♥ )
So I'm leaving.
[He's leaving for good, and this is voice, not video, for a reason. It's not that he doesn't want to look people in the eye, it's just that he doesn't want them to see how guilty he feels, even now, to be leaving this place behind.]
[Not as bad as he expected, though. Not as bad as it would have been a few months ago. Charles was right: there is a time and a place to take your life back for your own.]
I don't really have anything much to say besides - goodbye, and thanks. To everyone, even the people I never really knew, for making this place livable. Making it home for a while. It'd be hell here without you.
Don't screw each other up too bad.
spam } ben
[But before any of that, he goes to see Ben.]
[This will be the worst of it. This will be the hardest. This is the one he has no choice but to do in person, because if he's going to turn back, this is where he's going to do it.]
[He knocks on Ben's door with his heart in his throat, beating like a jackhammer, and wonders if Ben can hear it. If he'll be concerned before Alex says what he has to say - if he'll think there's something wrong.]
[Alex can't control that one way or another. He can't make this nice. He can pretty much just be honest.]
( ooc; if anyone would like to spam off this post, alex will be in his cabin [6-02] and/or pretty much wherever you want for goodbyes ♥ )
Spam
[Or at least here is the difference between the two of them - Ben believes in Alex, while Alex believes in Ben utterly. He believes that there will come a day when this won't be enough, when Ben not only can leave but will want to, that the fact that there's somewhere else available to him in the wide universe will be not a burden but a reassurance. He believes that someday he can be safe harbor in a place that feels safe to him, too. He believes that Ben is as much and as capable as anyone else.]
[If this belief proves to be false, he won't be upset, and he won't be disappointed. But he won't believe it until he sees it.]
[His face lights up at the smile, at the quip that's so much more from Ben, a declaration of independence and determination. He will never not hate the moment of goodbye, but it ends, it has to, he can feel it ending now and Ben isn't crying or running, he's smiling.]
[He is the best friend Alex has ever had.]
I'm never gonna be rid of you.
[All soft affection and open-hearted love. He wouldn't want it any other way.]