29. » spam + text

[tolaywaste]

spam } barge, day 1

[He died. He was alone. He was in the dark. There was not much air because the heat of his passage strangled it out, and then there was nothing, because his head was cut off by . . . something. Some monster.]

[Some man.]

[Marsh.]

[He remembers the way his body tried to keep breathing, even though it absolutely couldn't. And he remembers waking up, as alone in life-after-death as he was in death. More alone. Erik is gone. Charles is gone.]

[He trembles when no one is around, feeling hemmed in by the airless levels and the close quarters. But when people are nearby, he acts bigger than he is, a cornered animal reminding other animals that he is still more dangerous than them. Look at him sideways, stand too close to him, and he'll lash out with his fists or his powers. There's madness in his eyes and a scar on his neck, and he is alone, alone, alone.]

text } end day 1

Fuck loyalty. Nobody's loyal.

spam } port, remainder

[Now it's too open. He is practically agoraphobic after the close quarters of the broken-down Barge; it's too bright out here, and the people look at him with suspicion as he looks at them with fear and aggression.]

[It won't be long before he tries to pick a fight with someone he shouldn't on the ground, but before that his fear will get the best of him. He'll stick close to the few people he still knows and trusts. Everyone else will be attacked, no questions asked - maybe a couple answered.]


( ooc; text refers to this; alex's backstory here. encounter him anywhere, let me know how much damage you're cool with your character incurring. return tags coming from letslip. )

Comments

[letslip]

[His lips peel back in an almost feral grin. It doesn't reach his eyes, though, and the blankness never goes away.]

Him? Him who?

[He knows. Of course he fucking knows. But he dares her to say his name out loud.]

[youwillgotohell]

Charles.

[She's not afraid to say it or let the sorrow bleed into her voice. Alex is all that's left of his world, and she doesn't want to leave him to tremble alone - but she doesn't want to bear the memories alone, either.]

[letslip]

[He doesn't tremble. He doesn't want her sorrow to affect him. He wants to be stone-cold and unafraid, implacable, but--]

[Charles.]

[Something in him crumples.]

I don't . . . miss him.

[youwillgotohell]

[She looks down at the space between them and doesn't answer immediately. She won't bear witness to his struggle if he doesn't want her to, but she wishes he would let her rest a hand on his shoulder, wrap her arms around him and give some measure of comfort.]

I didn't realize. I'm sorry I presumed, but.

I miss him.

[letslip]

[He will never. Or at least, he thinks he will never. Really, he doesn't know the first thing about what he'll do from one minute to the next. It's all up in the air.]

[He stares at the space between them, too, though it's resentfully and far from respectfully.]

You shouldn't. He left you.

[youwillgotohell]

I told him to.

[She does look up at him this time, searching for his eyes.] He told me he wanted to leave, before the door opened. He wanted to take his loved ones and find a way off. He would have declared war on the Admiral for it. I told him I wouldn't leave anyone else here to suffer.

[She doesn't know if he'll turn his anger on her for this.] But I don't think he meant to leave us, in the end.

[letslip]

[He doesn't meet her gaze, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the floor.]

You shouldn't have. It wasn't your business to tell him what to do.

It's not your business to comfort me now. I don't need your comfort.

[youwillgotohell]

It's my business to look after my loved ones.

[She doesn't waver. She doesn't care that he won't look at her. She is so tired, and so afraid, and horribly guilty for the number of times she wishes Charles was still here.

It's only slightly assuaged when she thinks, better here than truly dead.]

It's my business to speak my mind, Alex, and if you don't need mine, you need someone's. You're not alone.

[letslip]

[Now he looks up at her, angry. Seething. Heat in his eyes, heat fairly sparking off his fingertips.]

Yes. I am.

[youwillgotohell]

Am I a ghost?

[Her voice is steady, but she clasps her hands carefully in front of her, lest the tremble in her fingers gives her away. She hasn't been a friend to everyone, maybe she hasn't been enough of one to him, but he cares for Charles and Charles cared for him, in their own ways. It's in his memory that she pushes.]

I'm here. So you can't be alone.

[letslip]

[His mouth twists into an ugly line.]

I don't know what you are.

I don't know why he trusted you. More than he trusted me.

[youwillgotohell]

Because I don't run from the people I care about.

[She won't run from him or his anger.]

[letslip]

[And now a snarl. He can feel his chest heating up with his temper, quick and vicious.]

Excuse me?

[youwillgotohell]

[Her patience is fraying, and she's not sure if she regrets it or not. She's not sure if she wants to let her temper run loose, because if ever there was a time for it, it's now.]

I'm not here to fight with you, Alex.

[letslip]

Right, you're here to help me.

I've heard that before.