18. » spam

[tolaywaste]

[Alex is praying. He's in the chapel with his head bowed, like he's been since just after lunch, and he thinks he's gonna stay until dinner. It probably won't help in the grand scheme of things, but it's quiet here, and that's what he wants. Space to think. Or feel, maybe.]

[He woke up to a flood that drew the very worst memories of his life out of him, laid them on display for anyone at all to see, and now that the smoke is clearing he finds himself in mourning again. It's unexpected how much he misses Pietro, like a sharp pain between his ribs. He wasn't a brother, wasn't important in the same way that Ben or Sean or Armando are, but he was - is - important. He understood things implicitly, things about family that Alex doesn't like to explain.]

[So Alex isn't sure what he's praying for, exactly, other than Pietro's safety. Maybe his, maybe Anya's, maybe nothing in particular. All he knows for sure is he doesn't want to leave.]

Comments

[wecanavenge]

[It earns a curious, sidelong look, and Erik studies him for a moment, hands linked between his knees.]

But you believe in them? The people you surround yourself with. [Erik believes in himself, in select others. He believes in doing what he feels is right. It's not as wide a scope, and he almost admires Alex for it.]

[tolaywaste]

[Glancing up in time meet Erik's eyes, Alex frowns, tight-browed and serious, then nods.]

I do.

[I believe in you, he says with every part of himself but his words. He won't look away first. He believes in Erik as much as - more than - he believes in anyone.]

[wecanavenge]

[It comes with noise and clarity, and, after a moment, Erik finds himself smiling. It's not surprised, not even unexpected. He wasn't asking about himself.

But he appreciates it, enough to pat Alex's back in a quietly, distanced but affectionate way.]

[tolaywaste]

[It's not just about Erik - but it all starts with him. Erik betrayed him, looking at it from a very specific, very selfish perspective. If he'd never figured out that he could forgive Erik, he'd never have been able to believe in him - never would have been able to believe in everyone the way he does now.]

[Alex grins and ducks his head, then nudges Erik with his shoulder. They don't really need words. They're pretty awful at them anyway.]

[wecanavenge]

[Their collective way with words ususally clashes, ends in yelling and anger. Erik recognizes it, and is satisfied with the quiet. He chuckles, letting his arm settle on the pew behind Alex after squeezing his shoulder.

For a moment, a long moment, he just sits there, achingly...content. He wonders if it could have been this way all along, if not for Shaw, if not for what happened in Cuba. They are difficult questions, and he will never have those answers.

Eventually, he rises, because though Alex isn't alone, he has a right to his privacy.]