tolaywaste | 10. » private/video

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for ben

[His posture says it all: concerned, tense, but not afraid for his own safety. Not afraid at all. He's leaning towards the camera, though, like he can express worry just by being closer.]

Hey, Ben? I'm worried about you. Can you check in with me?

filter: bruce + rorschach + barbara

I'd like to help with Ben. I'm not as good at this as you all are, but point me where you need me and I'm there.

just bruce

Which means you're helping. He's my friend.

for oliver

I need your help with something, if you're willing to give it.

for charles

Check in. Did you hear about Ben?

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[That's something Ben both understands and doesn't; the concept, yes. The isolation. But that isn't what happened to uncontrollable subjects where he came from, not by a long shot. There had been fights amongst the units, of course, there was bound to be when children were trained to be soldiers, taught combat abilities far superior to even several of their adult guards, and expected to grow up together in such an environment.

Unit against unit. Never unitmate against unitmate. They were too short on allies to ruin any that they did have and they knew it long before the classes on sound team strategies came into play. But Ben thinks... maybe it was better, for him. At least he knew why. At least he had that answer.

It wasn't something that happened to him and then left him alone to deal with it as best he could, among people who were afraid of him and didn't understand. Later, perhaps, but he still suspects that was more his own doing than anyone else's.]

I'm... sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry they didn't understand. [This in earnest, studying the small smile, Alex's eyes above it.] The family... you were staying with. They did nothing?

[He doesn't ask, yet, why Alex phrased it that way. It feels less like something he should ask about and more like something Alex should offer him if he wants to, when he wants to.]

They -

[Well. He's not sure. He's always assumed that they didn't know. That it was covered up. That, maybe, someone told them that he'd died, been killed by the kidnapper, so that the Blandings could get on with their lives.]

[But maybe that isn't what happened at all. Maybe they were told. Maybe they didn't care. It's certainly plausible. Haley would care, but - Alex doesn't think they'd go out of their way for him.]

[The flicker of doubt is visible, for just a moment. And then he breathes deeply and lets it go. They were never particularly kind to him, but they kept him alive. He'll give them the benefit of the doubt. He'll never know the truth, anyway.]

They didn't know. It was kept from them. That's what I think, anyway.

[Ben doesn't nod, but he does straighten his neck back up, acknowledging the hesitation. He could call Alex on it, make him explain, but Ben already understands. There's no need for it.]

I see. Then I am sorry about that, as well.

Though I am not sorry that it has brought you here.

It's made me stronger.

[He glances at Ben, then away.]

That's not the same as making it worth it. I don't - hurting people isn't worth it. [And maybe being locked up wasn't worth it either, but - ]

I'm glad I'm here, too. Despite everything. I'm glad I'm here.

Yes, it has. And in this you are fortunate: it doesn't always strengthen.

[Ben knows this firsthand. He's at peace with it, now, but he's still aware of it. And he absolutely understands how sometimes, in the end, it's not enough to be worth the cost.

Of course:]

...and thank you for coming. When I asked. [He holds up a hand to forestall any easy dismissals Alex might try. He knows. He does. But.] It's not something I expect. [Deal with it.]

[Alex doesn't argue. He knows, from body language and from past experience, that Ben doesn't want to hear it and that he'll shut it down or just give him a Ben Look if he does. So he just grins crookedly and ducks his head, like, yeah. He knows it's not something Ben expects.]

[If anything, that just makes it more important that he gets it from Alex.]

That's what friends do, right?

[Ben doesn't smile at the reaction or the question, but his expression relaxes slightly like he might in a moment or two. Like he might another time.

His reply is earnest, like it would be in few enough people who aren't him.]

That's what I'm finding out.

[Which means that, at least here and right now, Alex is doing something good. Giving Ben something he hasn't had nearly enough of. He tilts his chin up with something like pride and a good bit of joy.]

Good.

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