[Ben, by contrast, is steady as starlight, not as big or as bright as Alex but unwavering, ambient. He exists in spite of, despite, the darkness around him and he is at peace with what he is and where he must be to be it.

Alex frowns at him and Ben gazes back at him.]

I don't. My faith is my own, and it is mine to hold or to let go. It is mine in which to include you, as I see fit, not anyone else. [He lifts his hand again, slow, and reaches this time to brush his fingertips across Alex's chest, seeking his heartbeat beneath the wretched, unhappy skin of him. This is the real gift that the Barge has given him: in giving himself up completely to something larger than himself, he knows himself at last. By doing the bidding of others, he can finally control himself.

He wants that for Alex. His palm presses flat, overly warm and without fear.] And I do so hate to see you unhappy.