[The thought takes him aback. Ben has a right to his scars - well, of course he does. At least in theory. But everyone seems to be confused by Ben, what his scars mean. If Alex is truthful, sometimes he is, too. That's why sometimes he has to take a step back, to ask questions, to be stupid and wrong.]
[Is that what he has to do now? Risk being wrong, risk feeling this bad, so that Ben can wear his scars? Because he will do it, he'll do it in a heartbeat, even if Ben never smiled again, if he was happy.]
[His shoulders tense, fists clenched fierce on the cutting board. When he lets go of his knife and pulls Anya tight, folding his arms snugly around her back, he doesn't care one way or the other about the raw meat on her hands or the knife she's holding. He doesn't want anything back. He just needs to feel the thereness of her, to let her know that he is there, too.]
[They have scars. Scars aren't comparable, or even entirely comprehensible. But they don't negate strength, and he and Anya are strong enough to be Ben's foundation. Without a doubt.]
[spam]
[Is that what he has to do now? Risk being wrong, risk feeling this bad, so that Ben can wear his scars? Because he will do it, he'll do it in a heartbeat, even if Ben never smiled again, if he was happy.]
[His shoulders tense, fists clenched fierce on the cutting board. When he lets go of his knife and pulls Anya tight, folding his arms snugly around her back, he doesn't care one way or the other about the raw meat on her hands or the knife she's holding. He doesn't want anything back. He just needs to feel the thereness of her, to let her know that he is there, too.]
[They have scars. Scars aren't comparable, or even entirely comprehensible. But they don't negate strength, and he and Anya are strong enough to be Ben's foundation. Without a doubt.]