[The things that make him how he is - the things that have made Alex concerned with justice and the safety and security of others, those are complicated. And it's strange, but he sort of feels instinctively like Ben knows. Because Ben knows him very well.]
[But maybe it's easiest to lay it all out, like a timeline. Of course, there's no question if he doesn't want to. It's hard to talk about, but it also helps, sometimes.]
I don't even remember how much I've told you, [he says truthfully and lifts his eyes to meet Ben's.] I'm gonna try to tell you everything in a way that makes sense. It doesn't make much sense to me sometimes, but - I'll try.
The family I lived with had a little girl, and she was like my sister and my best friend, and someone kidnapped both of us one day. I thought he was going to kill her. That's when my mutation first - happened. [Charles would have used a word like manifested, but that doesn't seem right. It just happened, like a freak accident.]
And I killed him.
They put me in prison for a long time, and then Charles and Erik found me. I guess my time in there is why I want justice, but maybe I wanted that before. I was a lot younger when I went in, and I was alone for a long time in there, so I don't really remember what I thought about right and wrong before.
After prison, after they got me out, I was afraid for a long time. Of myself, you know? Especially after Darwin, after I killed my friend. By accident. Not that that made much of a difference; he was dead anyway. But then I learned how to control it.
I'm still afraid. But less all the time. The less afraid I am, the safer everybody else is to be around me, the safer I feel.
[ Spam ]
[The things that make him how he is - the things that have made Alex concerned with justice and the safety and security of others, those are complicated. And it's strange, but he sort of feels instinctively like Ben knows. Because Ben knows him very well.]
[But maybe it's easiest to lay it all out, like a timeline. Of course, there's no question if he doesn't want to. It's hard to talk about, but it also helps, sometimes.]
I don't even remember how much I've told you, [he says truthfully and lifts his eyes to meet Ben's.] I'm gonna try to tell you everything in a way that makes sense. It doesn't make much sense to me sometimes, but - I'll try.
The family I lived with had a little girl, and she was like my sister and my best friend, and someone kidnapped both of us one day. I thought he was going to kill her. That's when my mutation first - happened. [Charles would have used a word like manifested, but that doesn't seem right. It just happened, like a freak accident.]
And I killed him.
They put me in prison for a long time, and then Charles and Erik found me. I guess my time in there is why I want justice, but maybe I wanted that before. I was a lot younger when I went in, and I was alone for a long time in there, so I don't really remember what I thought about right and wrong before.
After prison, after they got me out, I was afraid for a long time. Of myself, you know? Especially after Darwin, after I killed my friend. By accident. Not that that made much of a difference; he was dead anyway. But then I learned how to control it.
I'm still afraid. But less all the time. The less afraid I am, the safer everybody else is to be around me, the safer I feel.
I don't know if that makes sense.